Ryan, if you read this blog, I can imagine you doing something stupid like this.
That is all.
I love public transportation drama. They make for the best viral videos.
Anyway, this skank got told. That’s about it.
Whoa. Watch this video. It’s crazy! That is truly art. I can’t believe it stays together. In the YouTube comments, someone said:
The man says he charges 3 kuai for the small and 5 kuai for the large ones!
THATS 50 CENTS AND 80 CENTS!
Isn’t that AMAZING? I’d pay like, $20 for one of those in New York! Someone should learn how to do this around here, hahaha.
via The Daily What
oooooommmmmgggggggggg. I died. I am dead.
I’m looking at you, Republican primary candidates. Oh wait, those are all rats. HAAAAAA I GOT JOKES, FOLKS!
This guy is paralyzed from his waist down, but you’d never know it considering he’s a CIRQUE DU SOLEIL performer
Inspirational Motivational of the Day: Cirque du Soleil performer Dergin Tokmak, who became paralyzed from the waist down after contracting polio as a child, performs one of his incredible, inspirational solo crutch-dance routines.
You guys! I’ve seen so many pictures of Justin Theroux and he’s become such a regular fixture in the gossip magazines that I have basically forgotten that I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT HIM and I’ve never heard him talk!
He was on Ellen and… well…. just watch the video. It’s adorable and I love him now. I’m 99.9999% sure they will get married, because I would marry him.
AMERICAN REUNION. I’m pumped. This brings me back to when I was 11 and watched American pie without my parent’s permission and didn’t get half of the jokes. Good times, good times.
John Mayer‘s first single off his upcoming album Born and Raised has finally been announced… it’s called “Shadow Days.” I like it, and I’m glad he’s back to singing about love. Here’s a 60 second snippet….
I hate that he used the phrase “it sucks” in his lyrics, because that’s sh*t sounds super low budget to me… but there are worse things in life. At least he didn’t say “crunk” or something.
What do you think about my hubby’s new song? His music usually has to grow on me, though.
This hamster goes crazy every time his owner plays music and does backflips. d’aw.
Basically, if I could give you a visual representation of the people I like to be friends with…. this would be it. This kid gives zero fucks and I appreciate that about him.
According to YouTuber NRucker5, he was told by a manager at the Memphis Zoo’s cafe that the alpha male monkey in a nearby enclosure felt threatened by him because he’s a tall male, and suggested he go stand with his back to the Plexiglas to provoke an “attack.”
HAHAHAHAHA HOLY CRAP I was not expecting that. That monkey is a bad ass, and makes me feel like every human, even the best of athletes, is totally inferior.
At what point in the evolutionary process did it become beneficial for us to lose the ability to swing around and launch ourselves at our enemies? If I could do that I would totally launch myself at everyone, all the time, and then eat their faces off. Just kidding that’s gross, but I’d launch myself at people for sure.
via The Daily What
I’ve always had a girl crush on Vanessa Hudgens, but I had NO IDEA she could dance this well…..here’s a video of her and Ashley Tisdale dancing to Beyonce’s “Who Run The World” …. pretty feeyus! Who’s a better dancer?
This bunny was found paraplegic, and the guy who found him made him a little cart!
This is me, by the way. I have literally said like…..85% of these things in the last month.
“Is three cats too much?”
“Did you watch Basketball Wives?”
I’m probably super late on this since it already had 14,000,00 views on YouTube, but whatever, shit’s funny.
“Can you read this and tell me if it makes sense?”
Reason #1: The commercials
Reason #2: the hope that something like this will happen again:
OK, so there’s Tebowing, planking, owling….. and now LION KINGing. This is……..amazing. I’m pretty sure anyone with a cat/child/small dog has already done this before. There’s just a name for it now. You don’t have to feel so weird!
Lion kinging is raising your ____ (baby, cat, dog, hamster) into the sky like Rafiki did to Simba in “The Lion King.” And if you’re all, “Oh, I’ve done that before, but I didn’t sing the song….” SHUT UP. Don’t lie. Everyone who has seen Lion King enough times to try Lion King-ing their pet knows that f*cking song by heart. DON’T LIE. Sure, there aren’t words…. but we know the noises. AHHHH SAY HENYAAAA BABA BEE SE BABAAAAA, SAY HENYYAAAAAA…. HUMMMMMMMM
(hoarders alert at :43!!)
Unfortunately I can’t participate in this awesome new phenomenon because have two 60+ lb Golden Retrievers who are fat and I’m not ripped like Rafiki and it would hurt my arms to lift them above my head like that. Maybe I’ll steal someone’s cat a make a video with theirs and pretend like it’s mine.
You might be wondering, “Who is Lana Dey Rey and why is Kristen Wiig impersonating her?” Here’s your answer…
HAHAHAHAHAHA. This is the best Kristen Wiig I’ve ever seen. Ever. Acting, impersonating, sketch comedy, all across the board. It’s awesome, and you probably don’t know what’s happening yet, so I’ll catch you up to speed….
Once known by her real name Lizzy Grant, Lana Del Ray is a singer songwriter who has recently relaunched her career under a new name (and sound, and look) because her record label inexplicably thought that would help along.
While she may sound like a Czechoslovakian trying to sing in English, she is in fact American, which adds substantially to the public perception that she tries really, really hard. Her record label has been pushing her new album as the next big thing, and somehow managed to get her onto SNL as the musical guest. She bombed, hard core, and here’s the video that people have been making fun of for a few weeks:
Knowing what the actual performance looked like, please watch this and enjoy the spot-fucking-on impersonation by Kristen Wiig from last night:
AMAZING, right? The hair. The voice. The dress. The lips. The overall “I’m a robot and have no soul” vibe? It’s perfection. I love me some Kristen Wiig, but I’m pretty sure Kristen Del Rey is my new favorite.