Ugly Eyebrow Alert

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Ugly eyebrow alert

Ugly eyebrow alert: Julianne Hough? You know better.

Julianne Hough?…. You know better than to paint on some chola eyebrows.What would Ryan Seacrest say if he saw those?


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT: There’s a name for them, “Scouse Brows”!!!!!

scouse brows before and after

I just stumbled upon one of my favorite YouTube guru’s makeup tutorial (for lack of a better word) regarding “scouse brows” which is apparently what the Brits call chola eyebrows.

He breaks down the steps reaaaaaal simple for those of us with reading comprehension issues:

Take your normal eyebrow… now PLUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.

Once they are nearly all gone – THEN PAINT THEM BACK IN HUGE! AND BLACK!

Did i mention BLACK? I mean CARBON BLACK! No, Carbon, Carbon PIGMENT BLACK!

lol Voila! Scouse brows!

The full tutorial is below, but for more ugly eyebrows, be sure to check out my ugly eyebrow history on Blahbethany.


Fierce Eyebrow Alert…..Shawshank Redemption edition.

kenneth-conley-jose-banks

Two Chicago inmates, Kenneth Conley and Jose Banks, escaped jail by repelling TWENTY STORIES down a downtown Metropolitan Correctional Center using a makeshift rope and harness. They then escaped via taxi, and their trail has gone cold.

Investigators later found a broken window in the men’s cell, where window bars were found inside a mattress, according to an FBI affidavit. Fake metal bars also were found in the men’s cell, a rope was tied to a window bar, and each man’s bed was stuffed with clothing and sheets to resemble a body, the affidavit said.

It appeared to illustrate a meticulously planned escape — which came a week after Banks made a courtroom vow of retribution. Both men are facing hefty prison sentences, and the FBI said they should be considered armed and dangerous.

via Fox News

This is some wanna-be Shawshank Redemption plan. How much you want to bet they’re in Mexico on the beach enjoying all their cash together? The only difference is Jose Banks has WAY better eyebrows than Morgan Freeman. I never knew that waxing and tweezing services are available in jail. Maybe that’s why Chicago is always in a fiscal crisis.

jose-banks

Banks and his fierce eyebrows are my new favorite:

Banks, known as the Second-Hand Bandit because he wore used clothes during his heists, was convicted last week of robbing two banks and attempting to rob two others. Authorities say he stole almost $600,000, and most of that still is missing.

During trial, he had to be restrained because he threatened to walk out of the courtroom. He acted as his own attorney and verbally sparred with the prosecutor, at times arguing that that U.S. law didn’t apply to him because he was a sovereign citizen of a group that was above state and federal law.

YOU GO GIRL. You and your eyebrows.


Ugly Eyebrow Alert…. Anthony Davis from Kentucky!


Ugly eyebrow alert….Jersey Shore edition!

The F*CK did Deena do to her face? I know she’s admitted to having a nose job once before… but to me it looks like she got another one. It also looks like she’s lost a little bit of weight, and TOTALLY MESSED UP HER EYRBROWS. Those are some bad semi-eyebrows. THey’re just….semi-circles. No arch…. no difference in thickness or width… just… a big, awful semi-circle eyebrow. *sigh*


My new favorite website for Ugly Eyebrow ammo…. CHOLAFIED!

OMG. This website is the best thing ever. Go visit Cholafied.com …. unfortunately they don’t have a generator where you can submit your own photos, but I’m praying that it’s the next step in the website’s evolution, because I’d totally make that shit my profile picture on Facebook.

And for the record? I would STILL sleep with Ryan Gosling, chola eyebrows and all.


How to NOT have fug eyebrows

It’s very simple. Line up with your pupils, edge of your nose, etc….. this is a pretty fool-proof way to have good brows. THANKS, LAUREN CONRAD.


Madonna just got an UGLY EYEBROW RED CARD. Also, photoshop is officially a weapon.

GAAAAAHHHHH BURN IT!!! BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Part of me thinks both sides of this photo are photoshopped… because there’s obviously no way the left isn’t messed with… but does Madonna really look like that (the right) unphotoshopped? That’s …. terrifying. What happened to her eyebrows? And who chose that unfortunate shade? Also, why would you COMPLETELY change someone’s eye color? Weirdos. At least her awesome cheek crease is legit. GOOD FOR HER.


Ugly Eyebrow Alert! How many of us have plucked our eyebrows into “the cane”?

I think I’m going to coin this particular ugly eyebrow “the cane” because it’s shaped like one. This is a PERFECT example of how fug eyebrows make someone less attractive. This girl is super cute if you cover up her eyebrows.

It’s CLEARLY obvious she has terrible eyebrows, but sometimes it’s not as obvious why someone’s face is just, “meh,” but to an astute eyebrow connoisseur like myself, I know RIGHT AWAY.

I see tons of people and I want to be like, “Can you grow our your eyebrows and let me fix them for you? Thanks.” but…. that would be rude.


I’m giving Pippa Middleton an Ugly Eyebrow yellow card.

Oh Pippa. Let’s never let this happen again, my dear. Never again. You have been yellow carded. Don’t make me red card you! I like you too much to do that.

It could be worse, though. At least Sharpie eyebrows weren’t involved.


Adrian Grenier’s senior class photo teaches us an important lesson about ugly eyebrows

Adrian Grenier’s senior class photo teaches us an important lesson: even when they’re fug in high school, they can end up being gorgeous with lesson on how to use hair product, a haircut, a good eyebrow grooming, and crustache removal. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BONE STRUCTURE.

 


Ugly eyebrow alert! Kinda….. Ok I’m lying. But it’s still funny.

 

I personally think it looks more like an eyebrow mixed with a llama, but whatever…


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT! Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart (who?!)


Apparently this is Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart the 18th Duchess of Alba La Duquesa de Alba. I don’t know what any of that means. All I know is homegirl has some ugly eyebrows and some chicken cutlets implanted in her cheeks!


No, Adam Lambert. No.


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT!!! Man edition.

GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Filling in your eyebrows like that is a crime when you already have dark eyebrows. PLUS… plus…. your goatee looks patchy now in comparison. #BEAUTY FAIL.

I expected much more from a fabulous gay man like yourself, Adam.


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT: tranny tutorial

If this person has any true friends, they will intervene and tell her eyebrows are not meant to be drawn on your face with STENCILS AND EYESHADOW! You grow hair there for a reason, y’all!


Ugly eyebrow alert, CODE RED!

I follow a lot of makeup gurus on YouTube, and a few of their blogs, and BAM! this bad-boy (errr, girl) just showed up in my Google Reader via MakeupGeek. Most of the time makeup tutorials are pretty and educational, but every once in a while a totally busted one ends up slipping through, and this is a perfect example.

Apparently it’s an “Extreme 60′s inspired look with NYX,” or as I like to call it “how to look like an angry chola prostitute.” So…if you want to look like a cheap chola prostitute, here are instructions!

Almost better than the tutorial itself are the delusional comments below it.

“I love this! I especially like how the white liner on below the lid makes the eyes look so open.”

“I LOVE the look !!! You did amazing on the eyes. I think if you did a real rounded eyebrow it would look even more authentic. GREAT JOB!!!”

Also, sorry it’s been such a long time since I featured an ugly eyebrow alert. I’ll keep my eye out and update these bad boys more frequently.

 


Jennifer Aniston talks crap about the hairstyle that made her famous.

Jennifer Aniston is looking especially photoshopped on Allure‘s February cover. Surprisingly, what made me blog this is not A) the photoshop madness, B) her Kim Kardashian lips, which means they’re the same color as her face… C) her amazing eyebrows…. or even D) the stupid wigs they made her wear.

What made me blog about it is the trash talking she did in the interview. For once she wasn’t talking crap about Angelina Jolie. She talked crap about THE RACHEL. Yep, you heard me. Jennifer Aniston is dissing the hairstyle that made her famous.

I love Chris [McMillan, her hairstylist], and he’s the bane of my existence at the same time because he started that damn Rachel, which was not my best look. How do I say this? I think it was the ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen. What I really want to know is, how did that thing have legs? Let’s just say I’m not a fan of short, layered cuts on me personally, so I don’t love revisiting that particular era.

DUH. We all know it’s ugly. But that doesn’t mean you can talk like that, Rachel! You’re still Rachel to us. You’re still that haircut. If you diss the haircut, then to us you’re just Brad Pitt’s ex-wife. Doesn’t “actress that started The Rachel” sound like a lot better? I think so, too.

Also, on a complete side-note, is it just me or does Jennifer look very similar to Rielle Hunter in a few of these photos, especially the ones with the wigs? Maybe it’s the chin.

So, Jennifer, the lesson we’ve learned here, is don’t bite the hand the feeds you. And by hand, I mean hair. The lesson is also to make sure they don’t photoshop your face to the point that you look like… well, that.



Rachel Hunter has ugly eyebrows.


This chick be a tripple threat! Ugly shape, uglor color, aaaaand they’re penciled in. I saw this and thought immediately, “Dang, you gots some ugly eyebrows, girlfran.”

Ladies, the rule is your brows should be 1-2 shades darker than your hair, not A) lighter and B) a completely different color. Also, avoid plucking/drawing them into a straight line. That’s not cute.


She looks like a young Shanna Moakler

$50 says Shanna Moakler grew up in a trailer and was taught to do her makeup by a monkey. I don’t hate many celebrities, and I despise her. Why don’t more people think she’s white trash?


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT! This time it’s a neuroscientist. That’s a new one.

David Jentsch is a neuroscientist doing experiments on animals. Some animal rights activists got pissed and sent him razor blades (supposedly) infected with HIV, like the psychopaths that they are. BECAUSE ANIMALS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HUMANS.

Anyway, obbbbvviously before calling the cops, David used the razor blade on his eyebrows because they are super fresh and well groomed. They look very chola-esq.

Daily Mail


If there was an ugliest eyebrows contest, she’d win.


He left you because of your eyebrows


Sharpie mustache/eyebrow combo? That’s a new one.


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