You guys, I’m so detached from reality, it’s embarrassing. I mean, I knew the inauguration was happening soon… I just didn’t know exactly when, nor did I really care, because I didn’t vote for Obama. Don’t judge me.
Someone tweeted a video of Beyonce singing the National Anthem, and I’m a sucker for the National Anthem. So duh, I clicked it. How could I not? IT’S BEYONCE. There’s a 5% chance she’ll be in a leotard dancing around with background dancers, singing about empowering single ladies such as myself, and a 100% CHANCE she’ll sound great. I didn’t watch any of the inauguration, nor do I really care, but…. I got emotional, you guys. BE-MOTIONAL. Get it? beyonce + emotional? I’m so clever.
So how this went down is I sat there, un-showered, laying in bed, my hair a mess, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich….. crying. And then I clapped at the end. ALONE IN MY BED WATCHING YOUTUBE. I’m such a freaking loser.
Ya’an, China — Jeremy Browne, British minister of state for the foreign and commonwealth office, poses with a giant panda at the Ya’an Bifengxia base of the China Conservation and Research Centre for the Giant Panda. Two giant pandas from the facility will be shipped to Britain, where they’ll stay for 10 years. It’s the first time China has sent pandas to Britain since 1974.
POLITICAL CREEPSTER OF THE DAY: Gaddafi had a scrap book full of Condoleezza Rice photos, probably to fap to.
The story goes like this: a bunch of rebels in Libya broke into Gaddafi’s compound after he fled. They did the usual breaking and entering routine…….1) destroy stuff by setting it on fire, 2) take pictures on ornate furniture paid for by stealing money from citizens, and 3) publicly humiliate Gaddafi by showing the world he forgot to take his fapping scrapbook full of Condi Rice pictures when he fled. Awkward.
Apparently Gaddafi had a thing for Condi Rice. Back in 2007 he had an interview with Al-Jazeera and said about Condi:
Support my darling black African woman. I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders… Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. … I love her very much. I admire her and I’m proud of her because she’s a black woman of African origin.
This is pretty much the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. I mean……………yeah. There’s not much I can say here. He is an evil man, AND he has a scrap book full of Condoleezza Rice photos to fap to. Can you imagine Condi’s aid walking in to tell her it hit the news? I’m sure it went something like this:
“Ms. Rice, I need to speak with you immediately.”
“I’m on a call right now.”
“Mr. President, I’m going to have to call you back.”
(Also, I seriously CAN’T STOP THINKING about Jack Donaghy and 30 Rock. So I included this hilarious video of Condi putting Jack’s flute skills to shame. If you don’t watch 30 Rock, you wouldn’t understand. But if you watch 30 rock……I know, right?)
via The Daily What
Everyone always says, “bitches be crazy!” and I’m not going to disagree with you (because I’m 100% crazy and admit it) but it needs to be noted that guys are just as, if not more so, crazy. Case and point via The Daily What:
Quipping that Isabelle Prevost, to whom he was married for ten years until they divorced in 2010, always wanted “a big rock,” Mayor Dany Larivière personally drove a 20-tonne boulder inscribed with the words “happy birthday Isa” to her house, and dumped it on her driveway.
“This is for all you’re doing to me” read a second inscription referencing the heavy financial toll the divorce has taken on Lariviere.
“I took a rock from one of my quarries and I brought it to her place with a little message and a nice ribbon, just like a real gift,” Lariviere is quoted as saying.
The rock has since been removed, and police are investigating the situation ahead of possible harassment charges.
“Dave Ramsey sums it up: “If the US Government was a family, they would be making $58,000 a year, they spend $75,000 a year, & are $327,000 in credit card debt. They are currently proposing BIG spending cuts to reduce their spending to $72,000 a year. These are the actual proportions of the federal budget & debt, reduced to a level that we can understand.”
Sarah Palin thought this whatchamacallit Paul Revere rode his gosh darn horse into that gosh darn town to warn the Brittish of some whatchamacallit that I can’t recall right now. Why are you asking me what magazines I read?
But to be fair, I thought Paul Revere was the one who sang with raccoons in the woods and dated John Smith.
Then the topic #PalinHistory started trending on Twitter. Here are a few of my favorites
hahahaha. That security guard at the end is so creepy.
Peace be with you while you watch this video.
No matter what political ideology you are or what you believe, beware of how easily charts can be manipulated!
Nancy Pelosi on September 7, 2006:
[E]ven if [Osama bin Laden] is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. He has done more damage the longer he has been out there. But, in fact, the damage that he has done . . . is done. And even to capture him now I don’t think makes us any safer.
Nancy Pelosi yesterday:
The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qaida. . . . I salute President Obama, his national security team, Director Panetta, our men and women in the intelligence community and military, and other nations who supported this effort for their leadership in achieving this major accomplishment. . . . The death of Osama bin Laden is historic.
And yes, I get it…. she needs to congratulate the current president so she doesn’t look like an asshole, but it’s obnoxious that when a Republican is in office that it wouldn’t be an accomplishment (or matter) if we caught Bin Laden, but when a Democrat does it it’s historic. Whatevs.
OK …. now that it’s out of my system I”ll returned to my regular posts about cute animals ‘n stuff.
Meet Gary Weddle, the man who promised TEN YEARS AGO that he wouldn’t shave his beard until Bin Laden was killed
On September 11, 2001, Weddle was a substitute teacher. He spent so much time that week engrossed in the news, he forgot to shave. He vowed then and there that he wouldn’t shave until Bin Laden was captured or killed, figuring it would be 2-3 months. Try almost TEN YEARS later, and he actually grew his beard the whole time.
Sunday Night was pretty spectacular, and he didn’t even wait to hear Obama confirm it. He grabbed his wife’s Venus Razor (YEAH I NOTICED IT.) and shaved it all off, taking at least 10 years off his look.
GOOD FOR YOU, BOO BOO. Way to stick to your vow, and look like a homeless dude. I’m proud of you.
Proud to be an American AND a Buckeye tonight! Found this on Twitter, as well as some celebration photos of everyone jumping into the lake. If you have any others, leave a comment and I’ll update the post!
Updated with video of students jumping into the lake via The Lantern!
It is being reported by Fox News that Osama Bin Laden was killed by a US missile over a week ago, US delayed reporting it because they wanted to match DNA testing.
Many sources are confirming, the story is developing. Not confirmed whether it was in Pakistan or Afghanistan.
Last week the hunt for Bin Laden was in the news, and it was reported the Obama Administration was placing pressure on the CIA to intensify the hunt.
10:54 NBC News is now confirming the story as well. They are stating it took place in Pakistan, and that the president is going to address it in a speech shortly.
11:03 ABC news is reporting that US has his body and has identified it with DNA.
11:28 LOL….. Brian Williams just said “someday you will remember where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news of Bin Laden’s death.” I was sitting on my couch, covered in self-tanner, watching Khloe and Lamar.
11:31 WHERE IS OBAMA? He should’ve been on TV an hour ago.
11:35 Brian Williams on NBC News is now stating it wasn’t a drone strike and probably a special ops raid. I wish he would’ve been taken alive.
11:39 OBAMA IS ON TV. WOW. Just got chills. Wowowowowowowowowowowow. This is history, folks.
11:43 Obama just confirmed he was killed via a fight, not via missile. Good news. It happened TODAY, I guess.
11:40 I could never be president because I am horrible at keeping secrets and would spill beans from every briefing. PSTTTTTT GUESS WHAT I HEARD.
11:54 Thanks to CJ on Facebook for this GIF:
12:05 President Bush released a statement:
Earlier this evening, President Obama called to inform me that American forces killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of the al Qaeda network that attacked America on September 11, 2001. I congratulated him and the men and women of our military and intelligence communities who devoted their lives to this mission. They have our everlasting gratitude. This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done.
12:23 John McCain releases statement:
I am overjoyed that we finally got the world’s top terrorist. The world is a better and more just place now that Osama bin Laden is no longer in it. I hope the families of the victims of the September 11thattacks will sleep easier tonight and every night hence knowing that justice has been done. I commend the President and his team, as well as our men and women in uniform and our intelligence professionals, for this superb achievement.
But while we take heart in the news that Osama bin Laden is dead, we must be mindful that al-Qaeda and its terrorist allies are still lethal and determined enemies, and we must remain vigilant to defeat them
12:28 Jim Miklaszewski at the Pentagon says assault was done by Navy SEALS helicopters special ops raid, 35 miles outside of Islamabad. They found the compound by following 2 carriers. Several civilians were killed in the firefight, including a woman that was used as a human shield. Bin Laden’s adult son was also killed in the fight.
12:34 Ohio State students jumping in Mirror Lake which is typically reserved for Michgan vs Ohio State football game. Proud to be an American today and proud to be a Buckeye! Wish I could be there
Seth Green performed a routine at the White House Correspondents Dinner, and yeah… it was super funny. Definitely worth watching the whole thing. If you don’t feel like watching the whole thing, I’ll give you a glimpse of my favorite part at the 12:00 mark:
“Donald Trump said he had a ‘great relationship with the blacks.’ Though unless ‘the Blacks’ are a family of white people, I bet he’s mistaken.”
Here’s the video:
Someone dug up an old-school Sarah Palin quote nugget. It was featured in the April 3, 1993 edition of the Anchorage Daily News:
Sarah Palin, a commercial fisherman from Wasilla, told her husband on Tuesday she was driving to Anchorage to shop at Costco. Instead, she headed straight for Ivana Trump. And there, at J.C. Penney’s cosmetic department, was Ivana, the former Mrs. Donald Trump, sitting at a table next to a photograph of herself. She wore a light-colored pantsuit and pink fingernail polish. Her blonde hair was coiffed in a bouffant French twist.
”We want to see Ivana,” said Palin, who admittedly smells like salmon for a large part of the summer, ”because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamour and culture.”
I can’t decide what is worse…… A future presidential candidate thinking Ivana Trump is an example of glamour and culture, orrrrr a candidate that admittedly has neither of those things. le sigh.
A temporary White House staffer, Carlton Philadelphia, brought his family to the Oval Office for a farewell photo with President Obama. Carlton’s son softly told the President he had just gotten a haircut like President Obama, and asked if he could feel the President’s head to see if it felt the same as his.