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But…. *I* want to hug a lion, too!!!

Odds are I would risk going into this situation totally untrained (and likely to die) just for the chance that the lion MIGHT hug me, too.


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Reason #419 I love John Mayer

During his final song at a concert in Argentina, John grabbed a guitar from the audience, tuned it, played it during his song, signed it, and returned it to the fan.

Awesome.


Cliff Alexander is the new LeBron James to Illinois. TRAITOR!

Cliff Alexander, a 6’8″ forward from Chicago (and the #3 basketball recruit in the nation) announced what college he was going to play basketball for on Friday. This is how he decided to do it. First watch the #1 video, then watch the reaction videos uploaded by Illinois fans. Kind of amazing, although I feel for them because this is how I felt with LeBron.

 

via


This is one of the best drive-thru freakouts I’ve ever seen, and makes me proud to be an Ohioan. (NSFW language)

“DON’T MAKE ME ASSUME MY ULTIMATE FORM!!” is what I’m going to start saying to everyone in every situation.


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Ugly eyebrow alert

Ugly eyebrow alert: Julianne Hough? You know better.

Julianne Hough?…. You know better than to paint on some chola eyebrows.What would Ryan Seacrest say if he saw those?


Katy Perry knocked off a Sara Bareilles song, and I’m not even mad about it.

Katy Perry Roar Cover

Katy Perry’s new single, “Roar,” was just released…. and it’s one of those songs that’s like herpes and will never go away no matter how hard you try to get rid of it (I AM NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE, BY THE WAY.) So, if you press play, be prepared to hum this shit for like 2 days! I’m warning you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

So now that you’ve infected your brain with that song, people are saying Katy Perry ripped off the Sara Bareilles song, “Brave,” which I have to agree after listening to the songs. They have a similar beat, sway, and message.

They’re not exactly the same. but the fact that Katy tweeted about the song Brave a few months ago doesn’t help her case much. I’d never heard Sara’s song before, so I listened to it, and it made me cry because it’s such a great song and video, and message. Words to live by, folks. Show me how big your brave is!!!

Here is the mashup of the two songs. You see what I’m sayin’?

Either way, it happens. They’re different enough that I think maybe Katy was just inspired by the song. Just like when you hear a joke and you think of it months/years later and think you thought of it yourself? But you actually stole it? Yeah, like that.


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Tara Reid is smart.


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I can’t even

I can't even


Someone made the Game of Thrones cast into Simpson characters.

Game of thrones cast simpson character cartoon Some AWESOME human decided to turn our favorite Game of Thrones characters into Simpson characters. While the artist did not catch the love of my life Khal Drogo exaclty the way I picture him, I love it nonetheless.

Daenerys Targaryen simpson character Jon Snow simpson character Catelyn Stark simpson character cartoon
(more…)


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Really, betch?

Really, bitch?


UGLY EYEBROW ALERT: There’s a name for them, “Scouse Brows”!!!!!

scouse brows before and after

I just stumbled upon one of my favorite YouTube guru’s makeup tutorial (for lack of a better word) regarding “scouse brows” which is apparently what the Brits call chola eyebrows.

He breaks down the steps reaaaaaal simple for those of us with reading comprehension issues:

Take your normal eyebrow… now PLUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.

Once they are nearly all gone – THEN PAINT THEM BACK IN HUGE! AND BLACK!

Did i mention BLACK? I mean CARBON BLACK! No, Carbon, Carbon PIGMENT BLACK!

lol Voila! Scouse brows!

The full tutorial is below, but for more ugly eyebrows, be sure to check out my ugly eyebrow history on Blahbethany.


This dude laid in human waste to look at buttholes

poop creeper

Women don’t poop, but if we did, I would be afraid every single time because of this story:

The Keystone Fire Department were called to the White Water Park in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, yesterday to help extract a man found peeping on women from inside a public restroom septic tank.

52-year-old Kenneth Webster Enlow of Tulsa was reportedly caught after a woman and her 7-year-old daughter spotted him peering up at them from inside the toilet.

“He went in there, climbed down in the septic and was looking up at the people utilizing that facility,” Tulsa County Sheriff’s Maj. Shannon Clark said in a statement.

Firefighters had to hose down Enlow, who was “covered in human waste,” before transporting him to a local hospital for evaluation.

According to the arrest report, Enlow told deputies his girlfriend struck his head with a tire iron, and then dumped him in the toilet while he was unconscious.

However, the evaluation did not reveal injuries consist with his alibi.

While booking Enlow on Peeping Tom charges, deputies learned that the suspect had a felony warrant stemming from a 1998 embezzlement case as well as two prior convictions for public intoxication.

He remained in jail as of Monday afternoon. An arraignment date has been set for July 15.

What’s ironic to me is that 99% of men like to pretend that women don’t poop (WE DON’T, LOL). They’ve convinced themselves that every bite of food we eat enters our body, and evaporates through our skin. So obviously this guy is disturbed if he was so obsessed with vajays that he would lay in a pool of feces to look at some chocolate starfishes.

Ugh. So basically what this means is I’m not even safe IN A LOCKED BATHROOM STALL. Not even the handicap stall, which we all know is the best stall.

Also, just something I noticed that was funny, on Gawker (the website where I originally read this post) there was a little button on the main photo (above) and when I hovered my mouse over it, this is what popped up:

poop creeper annotation on Gawker


Song of the Day: Who is Ariana Grande?

She’s cute! And I actually don’t mind this song, crazy enough….

But for real, was it really necessary to make out with Mac Miller at the end of this? WITH TONGUE?

Blegh.


I came out of my unofficial blog retirement to post this cray little girl dancing

This video is appropriately titled, “WERK” because girl can werk it. I’m confident she was a drag queen in a former life due to her being fierce as a hell.

This girl is TEN YEARS OLD and crazy. I stalked her a little on YouTube and she does all kinds of dances, not all of them are borderline hoochie and highly inappropriate for 10 year olds.

Her dance move at 1:55 reminded me of the fork in the garbage disposal dance, hahahaha. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please see below (NSFW):


100 questions for fun

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

“Whatever Happened” – OAR
“Red Dirt Road” – Brooks and Dunn
“Just For Now” – Imogen Heap
“Make Damn Sure” – Taking Back Sunday
“Love Your Love The Most” – Eric Church

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? This answer will never be ANYTHING other than, “John Mayer.” Ever…. seriously.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “I used to tell friends that Wall Steet is the kind of place where they will buy you or sell you, but they don’t really give a hoot about you so long as they can make money off you.”

4) What do you think about most? I worry about all kinds of things.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Meat BALLS!!!!” courtesy of Kelsie, haha



7) What’s your strangest talent? I can do all sorts of weird tricks with my tongue, like flipping it, and turning it into a tube without using my lips for help

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? My very first boyfriend (I’m talking like…8th grade) wrote me tons of poems/songs that never became songs. In theory it’s sweet, but when someone writes you like 100 of them, it’s awkward.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Hmmm I can’t think of the last time. I play Guitar Hero all the time if that counts.

11) Do you have any strange phobias? I don’t like touching ice cubes, or listening to the sound of ice being shaved or chipped, it gives me goosebumps and freaks me out.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? My finger. Does that count?

13) What’s your religion? Target.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to into my work building, since that’s all I do now. Work!

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it. I’m not a fan of being in pictures, I look stupid in all of them.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? John Mayer Trio

17) What was the last lie you told? I can’t think of one, so I have that going for me.

18) Do you believe in karma? No.

19) What does your URL mean? It’s my name with the word “blah” in front of it. When I was naming my blog it was difficult since it doesn’t have an overall focus. It’s just blah blah blah stuff, hence…. blahbethany.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is I get overwhelmed easily and lose the ability to be objective. My greatest strength is that I’m smart and sharp.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? John Mayer. Tim Tebow. Jason Momoa. Chris Hemsworth. Jon Hamm. Jake Gyllenhaal.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I did once this summer, but I didn’t “skinny” dip until I was already in the water, so I’m not sure if it counts since no one saw anything.

23) How do you vent your anger? If I’m 10/10 mad, I’m probably yelling. But I rarely get 10/10 mad. If I’m like a 6/10 mad, I just want someone to listen to me and agree with me (or tell me what I want to hear).

24) Do you have a collection of anything? I don’t actively collect anything except nail polish, haha.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I don’t really talk on the phone or enjoy talking on the phone, at least unless I really really like a guy. It’s rare for me to want to talk to someone on the phone. I’ve never skyped. Video chatting is hawkward.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Sure am.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of scraping ice. I love the sound of cats purring, and I don’t even like cats that much.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? No for ghosts, which I constantly have to remind myself of when I’m alone in the dark. As for aliens, ehhhhh I don’t know. There’s probably some form of life out there, but in my head I see them as little blobs that look totally different and aren’t as advanced as us. And even if they are just like us, I don’t think we’ll ever come in contact with each other.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Both arms touch my bed.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? Candle burning on my nightstand.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Prisons and ghettos in Juarez, Mexico.

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? East coast all day erry day.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? God, how many times am I going to end up saying “John Mayer” in this survey?

36) Define Art. Taking a picture, making it black and white, posting it to Facebook/Instagram.

37) Do you believe in luck? I make my own luck.

38) What’s the weather like right now? Cold enough that none of the snow has melted.

39) What time is it? 3:32 AM.

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes I drive. I’ve caused 1 fender bender, was recently side swiped, and totaled my car hitting a deer once on the freeway. Woooo, being a woman driver rocks.

41) What was the last book you read? The Hobbit

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Little whiffs, but not for extended periods of time or else it makes me feel sick.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Bethie, boo, boofer, boofie, boobie, tuna, megaphone, belieber, boof, boo, boo bear, bethie boo, hollywood, liebchen

44) What was the last movie you saw? The Hobbit

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? When I was really little I poked a hole in the back of my throat with a big Jolly Rancher I sucked into a point. I fell while chasing our cat outside. It was gross. Other than that…. that’s my only injury. I’ve been lucky like that.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Shopping on Amazon.com

48) What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? When I left the private high school I went to, some people said I got pregnant so I left, and then I heard people said I was a lesbian with my best friend. Yay, Christiain school rumors! haha

50) Do you believe in magic? No.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes.

52) What is your astrological sign? Aries, although I don’t have the slightest clue what that means.

53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it. If I made enough to save it, I probably would.

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? Kelsie’s birthday gift.

55) Love or lust? Neither as of right now, haha.

56) In a relationship? Nope.

57) How many relationships have you had? Legit, mature ones? Two. One was amazing and one was completely dysfunctional and unhealthy.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No.

59) Where were you yesterday? At work, then I went to Play It Again Sports to buy a softball glove.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? No, I have made a conscious decision not to own anything pink, haha.

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Eff socks.

62) What’s your favorite animal? I’m an animal lover, so this is constantly changing, but ones that are always in the mix are koalas, puffins, and dogs.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I don’t have a secret weapon, I am just myself. I try not to trick people into liking me, haha

64) Where is your best friend? She’s at my house, and I’m not, haha. Our life story. She’s basically part of the family

66) What is your heritage? German, Chickasaw Indian, and a tiny bit of a few other things that I always forget.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? Palin

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah man. I’m loyal to a fault, honest, and I’ll do just about anything for my friends.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Pfttt, totally save the dog. No question. I almost got hit by a car a few weeks ago trying to save a dog from traffic.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I mean I’m not going to announce it on Facebook or something, but I’d tell those close to me, absolutely. I don’t think once you have that information that you have any right to keep it from those close to you. I’d spend my remaining days spending time with my family and getting all my affairs together so it would be easier on my family once I go. And yeah, I’d be really afraid. Death is scary.

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, so I choose not to answer this question. They should go hand in hand.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Roll To Me by Del Amitri.

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 1919

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Good communication

77) How can I win your heart? Make me feel special and pretty. Don’t stop being nice to me when you’re around your friends. Surprise me every once in a while. I’d prefer a card with something thoughtful written in it over an expensive gift any way. That kind of stuff with get saved forever and goes a long way. 

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? I wouldn’t know.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Transferring high schools

80) What size shoes do you where? 8 1/2 usually

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Pepperoni. Oh, wait, what was the question?

82) What is your favorite word? Accosted

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. That stupid thing people do with their hands that makes a heart. Taylor Swift does it a lot. It annoys me.

84) What is a saying you say a lot? “seriously.”

85) What’s the last song you listened to? “Everybody Talks” – Neon Trees

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Orange.

87) What is your current desktop picture?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I wouldn’t do that. I try not to let people get to me that much.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? The ability to know what people are thinking, but I can turn it on and off. I wouldn’t want to know all the time.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Hmm that’s tough. I have no idea….BIRTH. That’d be cool.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Deciding to take this survey. How did I do this like 8 times a week at the age of 16?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? JOHN MAYER. That’s 4 times I’ve answered his name so far.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Barcelona with a handsome man for a romantic trip. Handsome man I take is negotiable.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of. I surprisingly don’t have any white trash relatives. *fingers crossed*

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Not that I can think of.

98) Ever been on a plane? Many times.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Haaaaaay.

100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr. They all start with “F*ck Yeah” and end with things like “Tina Fey” “Jersey Shore” and “Ryan Gosling”


Aside

Well, as usual, America’s south

Well, as usual, America’s south

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Today’s google image search of the day: John Mayer Tennis

john mayer playing tennis google search


This will forever be one of my favorite videos on the internet.


This is the best GIF on the entire internet. Forever. There will never be a better one. Ever.

Jack Nicholson is creepy but cute gif jennifer lawrence oscars

In all of it’s live glory:


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Me.

help me I'm poor bridesmaids


I will always love, love, love this song.


My man is back :)


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Instead of thinking, “what a loser,” I thought “that’s kind of a good idea”

PUBLISHED by catsmob.com


As if Allison Williams couldn’t get any hotter….

As if Allison Williams couldn’t get any hotter….she goes and does this*.

 

*3 years ago, but still.

**Apparently this video made Judd Apatow want to cast her in the role of Marnie on Girls.


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