Cliff Alexander, a 6’8″ forward from Chicago (and the #3 basketball recruit in the nation) announced what college he was going to play basketball for on Friday. This is how he decided to do it. First watch the #1 video, then watch the reaction videos uploaded by Illinois fans. Kind of amazing, although I feel for them because this is how I felt with LeBron.
This is one of the best drive-thru freakouts I’ve ever seen, and makes me proud to be an Ohioan. (NSFW language)
DON’T MAKE ME ASSUME MY ULTIMATE FORM!!
What would Ryan Seacrest say if he saw those brows?
Katy Perry’s new single, “Roar,” was just released…. and it’s one of those songs that’s like herpes and will never go away no matter how hard you try to get rid of it (I AM NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE, BY THE WAY.) So, if you press play, be prepared to hum this shit for like 2 days! I’m warning you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
So now that you’ve infected your brain with that song, people are saying Katy Perry ripped off the Sara Bareilles song, “Brave,” which I have to agree after listening to the songs. They have a similar beat, sway, and message.
They’re not exactly the same. but the fact that Katy tweeted about the song Brave a few months ago doesn’t help her case much. I’d never heard Sara’s song before, so I listened to it, and it made me cry because it’s such a great song and video, and message. Words to live by, folks. Show me how big your brave is!!!
Here is the mashup of the two songs. You see what I’m sayin’?
Either way, it happens. They’re different enough that I think maybe Katy was just inspired by the song. Just like when you hear a joke and you think of it months/years later and think you thought of it yourself? But you actually stole it? Yeah, like that.
Some AWESOME human decided to turn our favorite Game of Thrones characters into Simpson characters. While the artist did not catch the love of my life Khal Drogo exaclty the way I picture him, I love it nonetheless.
I just stumbled upon one of my favorite YouTube guru’s makeup tutorial (for lack of a better word) regarding “scouse brows” which is apparently what the Brits call chola eyebrows.
He breaks down the steps reaaaaaal simple for those of us with reading comprehension issues:
Take your normal eyebrow… now PLUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.
Once they are nearly all gone – THEN PAINT THEM BACK IN HUGE! AND BLACK!
Did i mention BLACK? I mean CARBON BLACK! No, Carbon, Carbon PIGMENT BLACK!
lol Voila! Scouse brows!
The full tutorial is below, but for more ugly eyebrows, be sure to check out my ugly eyebrow history on Blahbethany.
I just read this story and every time I poop now (HAHA JUST KIDDING GIRLS DON’T POOP) I’m going to be afraid:
The Keystone Fire Department were called to the White Water Park in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, yesterday to help extract a man found peeping on women from inside a public restroom septic tank.
52-year-old Kenneth Webster Enlow of Tulsa was reportedly caught after a woman and her 7-year-old daughter spotted him peering up at them from inside the toilet.
“He went in there, climbed down in the septic and was looking up at the people utilizing that facility,” Tulsa County Sheriff’s Maj. Shannon Clark said in a statement.
Firefighters had to hose down Enlow, who was “covered in human waste,” before transporting him to a local hospital for evaluation.
According to the arrest report, Enlow told deputies his girlfriend struck his head with a tire iron, and then dumped him in the toilet while he was unconscious.
However, the evaluation did not reveal injuries consist with his alibi.
While booking Enlow on Peeping Tom charges, deputies learned that the suspect had a felony warrant stemming from a 1998 embezzlement case as well as two prior convictions for public intoxication.
He remained in jail as of Monday afternoon. An arraignment date has been set for July 15.
What’s ironic to me is that 99% of men like to pretend that women don’t poop (WE DON’T, LOL). They’ve convinced themselves that every bite of food we eat enters our body, and evaporates through our skin. So obviously this guy is disturbed if he was so obsessed with vajays that he would lay in a pool of feces (POOOOOOP!!!!) to look at some chocolate starfishes.
Ugh. So basically what this means is I’m not even safe IN A LOCKED BATHROOM STALL. Not even the handicap stall, which we all know is the best stall.
Also, just something I noticed that was funny, on Gawker (the website where I originally read this post) there was a little button on the main photo (above) and when I hovered my mouse over it, this is what popped up:
She’s cute! And I actually don’t mind this song, crazy enough….
But for real, was it really necessary to make out with Mac Miller at the end of this? WITH TONGUE?
This video is appropriately titled, “WERK” because girl can werk it. I’m confident she was a drag queen in a former life due to her being fierce as a hell.
This girl is TEN YEARS OLD and crazy. I stalked her a little on YouTube and she does all kinds of dances, not all of them are borderline hoochie and highly inappropriate for 10 year olds.
Her dance move at 1:55 reminded me of the fork in the garbage disposal dance, hahahaha. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please see below (NSFW):
In all of it’s live glory:
As if Allison Williams couldn’t get any hotter….she goes and does this*.
*3 years ago, but still.
**Apparently this video made Judd Apatow want to cast her in the role of Marnie on Girls.
10:01 I’m way too old for this, you guys. I’m going to bed.
9:51 Kat Jennings looks smokin in that blue dress.
9:45 throwback Herbal Essences commercial! Does that mean their original scents are coming back instead of that fruity BS?
9:36 Ri-Ri is performing. Poor girl is so lost.
9:25 Ummm, excuse me, Alicia Keys, I can see your under breast cleavage… #CBSRuleViolation #Grammys
9:15 Of course Chris didn’t stand up to clap for Frank when everyone else did. #Grammys
9:12 Please let anyone but Chris Brown win this. I just… I can’t. If he wins I will be upset.
9:11 Even though she’s looking a little hoochie, Kelly Rowland is, in my opinion, best dressed. And best prepared, because she told Ryan Seacrest her goodies are covered up JUST IN CASE.
9:10 I really like this second song of his. I don’t know if I can hear it on the radio, but at least it’s catchy!
9:00 Natalie Portman is so pretty. So far the Taylor Swift Target commercial and the Natalie Portman commercials are in my top 5 Grammy moments.
8:51 I hope Carly Rae Jepsen wins Song of the Year. It would make the Grammys even more respected in the actually-good-music community.
8:38 Everyone saying anything negative about John Mayer needs to stop IMMEDIATELY. I’m not kidding.
8:25 JOHN MAYER IS PRESENTING? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
8:21 I hope Katy Perry is nominated for EVERYTHING so that I can see John Mayer’s beautiful face every time. #Obsessed #FutureHusband #Grammys
8:20 I am so, so over Jennifer Lopez. She is beautiful, but her blatant acknowledgment of this fact makes me dislike her. Plus, you’re 43. Stop.
8:18 CBS, that was a really creepy testicle commercial, FYI. #Grammys
8:10 Ed Sheeran has one of those voices that makes me want to cry, even when I’m not sad. You know what I mean? Like… the next time I am crying about something, I’m gonna go turn on an Ed Sheeran song so it can be an even better cry.
8:08 How is LL Cool J relevant enough to be hosting the Grammys, by the way? He’s not funny, or popular anymore. No offense, LL.
8:05 She mocked Harry Styles, her ex, in a Brittish accent. Which is stupid, because…. he’s 19. And you’re … older than that. You need to stop. But I guess getting back at your ex by talking crap about him opening up the Grammys is one way of doing things.
8:00 Oooooh, Taylor Swift is trying to be edgy now with a completely unrelated stage display with clowns, siamese twins, and a weird outfit. But her spray tanned legs look GREAT.
I’m watching the Grammy red carpets and being snarky. And trying my best to post pictures so you can match the snark with a face. I’m watching E!’s red carpet coverage if you want to follow along with me! Then I’ll be switching to the show itself. Disclaimer: photos for this post were shamelessly stolen from various websites all over the internet.
Start at the bottom, new stuff at the top!
8:00 if you can’t tell, I gave up on the red carpet because none of the photos are available yet. I’ll post them later with my commentary. Now I’m just going to make fun of people as you watch it.
7:05 Florence Welch looks really pretty, I like that color, but somehow I still hate that dress. She looks like a dinosaur.
7:01 Who knew Dierks Bentley was so freaking sexy? Damn. #Grammys wp.me/pdECs-3EG
7:00 Jennifer Lopez, seriously…. someone needs to remind you how old you are, and you need to stop trying so hard. #Grammys wp.me/pdECs-3EG
6:58 hahahaha Ryan Seacrest just hit Taylor Swift in the face with his microphone. #Grammys wp.me/pdECs-3EG
6:57 Taylor Swift’s dress is fug. It makes her boobs look weird. She’s so hot and cold… sometimes she looks amazing and sometimes she looks so…not good.
6:55 John Legend is super attractive.
6:45 My mom’s commentary of the show (AKA “Mommentary”) ”His hair is very dirty.” regarding some random dude on TV, I don’t know his name, but it made me laugh.
6:38 Someone named Bonnie McKee is looking super cray, but in a weird way I like her dress. I will find a picture when I can. She looks like a mermaid wearing a Katy Perry dress.
6:27 Kat Von D is soooo cool, you guys. She “doesn’t even know who” is at the Grammys, and afterwards her and Deadmau5 are going to a museum because they’re different.
6:21 Janelle Monae is wearing a quirky suit again. Just like she did last year. And just like she did the year before. Very original. #Grammys
6:15 I have no idea when he walked the carpet, but Too Fab just posted these pictures of Mario Lopez. Although I hate him as a human because he’s obnoxious, over the top, and fake… I love this suit. It’s hard for guys to take fashion risks without looking stupid. Well done.
6:00 AHHHHHH they just said John Mayer and Katy Perry are coming soon. I’m curious to see how she dresses. John Mayer is a serious, no-gimmicks kind of guy. Remember when he dated Jessica Simpson how she stopped wearing her girly sexy clothes and started wearing hipstery clothes? I feel like he’s had a similar effect on Katy Perry and she’s been less fireworks-shooting-out-of-her-bra dressed.
5:55 – Ashanti…….. I’m not sure how I feel about this? The print is pretty, but there’s not enough of it. It’s also a really delicate female print, paired with a really sexy cut. Which doesn’t work. It’s almost like she found a beautiful dress and then was like, “OK, so cute it HERE, and HERE, and HERE. I WANT BOOBS LEG AND ARMPITS VISIBLE.”
5:50 PM – Carly Rae Jepson — Hmmmm……………………… I would like it, except it looks really weird around her crotch area. Sorry for making you guys look at her crotch. But… it does look weird. Not a fan.