JERSEY SHORE SEASON 5 PREMIER!!!!! Live blog. Woop woop!
OK, the updates are going to be slow, my mom broke the freaking internet and I am doing this all from my cell phone.
11:03 Jersey goes CAMPING? That should be the entire next season, hahahaha. I would watch that.
10:54 – Awwww…. Jionni is buying him a drink. That’s a nice guy. “Last night he tried to break me and Jionni up” UHHH NU UH. He was telling the truth about you being a skank, ho! I hate when she tries to act like people telling the truth is a bad thing. SHE DID ITTTTT.
10:52 – “It’s a war out there, bro. There is a lot of grenades.”
10:52 – Aztek is the worst name for a bar.
10:49 – This episode is amazing. I think Ryder and The Unit should just move in. I’d be into that. 10 roommates, so when someone goes home (since someone ALWAYS goes home for a bit) they house will still be full.
10:48 – Sammi is alllllllllways posing. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. It drives me crazy. YOU ARE PRETTY. STOP POSING.
10:46 – “Vinny, do you wanna do sex?” “……..no” *laughs* “….oh, no. I meant with a hooker” hahahaha
10:37 – Deena is such a creep. Ryder is a little skank ho. She hooks up with erryyyyone. Awwwwwww, poor Deena. OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AWKWARD. Why is she in the room when they’re trying to smoosh. This silence is killing me. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That was amazing.
10:35 – Two Naked Guidos and a Little Lady.
10:34 – I like Jionni. He’s no drama. Most guys would’ve been acting touch in the bar, and giving dirty looks, etc…..but he was so nice and friendly and non-confrontational.
10:33 Mike is such a schemer. JENNY’S DAD IS SO CREEPY AND UN-ITALIAN LOOKING.
10:25 I don’t know what anyone is saying because Mike just keeps saying “no no no no no no no no no no no CURLY F*CKIN HAIR no no no no no stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop no no no no no no no stop stop stop stop OK UNIT stop stop stop no GET REAL BITCH no stop stop stop stop”
10:24 OHHHHH NOOOO. Ryder AND The Unit (I feel ridiculous typing that) are at the party? Whoaaaaaaa. This is cray.
10:22 UNCLE NINO!!!! The 9th cast member!
10:21 – Pretty sure I’m about to start my period, because my eyes just watered and I teared up a little bit during the bar surprise party, hahahahaha.
10:16 – “I just have unbelievable genetics.” hahahaha…. my dad mocked this in a ridiculous voice. John should be present for every episode of JS.
10:14 I love that they literally haven’t even been in Jersey for an hour and they’ve already dropped off all their laundry, tanned, and are getting haircuts.
10:13 – My dad just said “we’re losing weight and getting pale?” laughing. SEE. Even my dad can appreciate Jersey Shore.
10:12 – I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but Pauly DOES look like of pale. Which….is crazy.
10:08 – this is all happening too fast. TOO MUCH PACKED INTO EVERY MINUTE. Oh God, Snooki is getting on a mechanical bull. Why was there only like 6 seconds of that footage? I bet that was television gold. Oh wait, nevermind. I spoke too soon. They’re back to the mechanical bull.
10:06 PICKLE SHOTS?!?!! Gross.
10:05 – My dad, who is a pastor, it watching Jersey Shore with me. I told him the rule (this goes for everyone that watches this show with me) is IF YOU STAY IN THE ROOM KNOWING YOU’RE WATCHING JERSEY SHORE, you can’t complain. So far all he’s said is, “WHAT AN IDIOT!” when Mike smashed his own face into the wall. When I told him it was cement and not dry wall, he laughed. I love my dad.
10:04 – the room situation is so much more fair this year because everyone got there at the same time. Poor Ronnie Mike and Sam……all in the same room. They’re going to be miserable.
10:03 – “My bed is my bed. I Like my bed. I peed in it last year, who would want to sleep in my bed?”