Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are engaged? WHAT?

Reports are saying Justin Timberlake and Jessica biel are engaged:

Us Weekly is reporting the singer proposed to Biel in late December while vacationing in Jackson, Wyoming, knowing Biel’s love for snowboarding and the mountains.

Jessica and Justin have been together over four years, so you might be wondering why I’m GENUINELY shocked. Well, I’m shocked because he dumped her ass in March. Cold blood dumping, man.  Why was it cold blood? Because Jessica isn’t the “call the paparazzi so I get my photo taken” girl. She isn’t the “capitalize off the fact that I’m in an A-list relationship to get roles” girl. She isn’t Blake Lively (not that there’s anything wrong with Blake Lively). She wants her privacy. She wants a real relationship. And he still dumped her.

When they broke up earlier in 2011, I thought he was for sure going to move on to his next relationship. He’s always in these long-term 3-4 year relationships…. Britney Spears…… Cameron Diaz….. Jessica Biel….. I thought he’d just moveeeee on to the next one because he’s never gone back to someone before. There were rumors about him and Mila Kunis. Her phone was hacked during that whole scandal and there were supposedly naughty photos of him on there.

When I heard that I thought he had for sure moved on….no hope for Jessica and him to reunite. But nope, he dumped Jessica, fooled around with Mila (and who knows who else), got it out of his system, realized he missed her while she wait patiently (and pathetically), they got back together 3 months later (in Juneish), and now they’re going to get married 6 months later?

Ta daaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! That’s how you do it, ladies. When you get dumped, don’t try to make him jealous. Act like a classy broad and he’ll come crawling back and give you a ring, hahaha. Just kidding, don’t do that. That’s sad.

But I’m happy for them. They’re a pretty normal couple if you ignore the fact that they’re famous, beautiful, have ridiculously large egos, are extremely talented, and have piles and piles of money. But I do like them. And her. It’s obvious she values their relationship more than her career, because if she didn’t, she would’ve gone into “IT GIRL” PR mode and tried to date someone more famous after Justin broke up with her to get in the tabloids. Typical “I just got dumped” move, and she didn’t make any of the normal moves, and now she’s snagged herself the girl everyone wants to date. Justin freakin’ Timberlake. At least I still have hopes of marrying JC, amirite?


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